Death Midwife: The Return of Agency to those who want to Die

Death Midwife: The Return of Agency to those who want to Die

In this powerful episode of Thrive with Cate, host Cate Stillman is joined by Becca Nelson, a practicing death doula, and Andrea Murphy, a licensed funeral director and spiritual caregiver, to discuss the often-avoided topic of death. Together, they explore what it means to consciously midwife death, reclaim agency and ritual, and create a meaningful dying process. Drawing on personal stories, professional experience, and cultural insights, the episode invites listeners to reimagine the end of life with grace and awareness.

What You’ll Get Out of Tuning In 

  • The parallels between birth and death—and how midwifery practices inform end-of-life care.
  • What voluntary stopping of eating and drinking (VSED) is, and how it can offer agency in dying.
  • Why modern consumer culture has stripped death of meaning and how to reclaim ritual.
  • How yoga, meditation, and primal habits help prepare for a good death.
  • Creating death literacy through conversation, community, and threshold choirs.

Highlights

  • Agency in Death: Cate and Becca reflect on how institutional systems often disempower the dying and how families can reclaim decision-making power.
  • Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking (VSED): Andrea shares a compelling firsthand account of supporting someone through a conscious, drug-free death.
  • Cultural Loss and Communal Rituals: The conversation delves into how consumerism has displaced community-based death rituals and the power of reviving those traditions.
  • Preparation Through Practice: From fasting and yoga to breathwork and ceremony, guests highlight how spiritual and physical practices can prepare us for death.

Notable Quotes 

“When we come together to support someone, a field of energy opens up that allows for deep inner shifts.” – Cate Stillman

“She was one hundred percent present at the moment of her dying—and that blew my mind.” – Andrea Murphy on witnessing a conscious death

“We’ve been conditioned to deny death. And when systems take over, they often rob us—and the dying—of agency and ritual.” – Becca Nelson

“In our dying, we teach others how death can be.” – Andrea Murphy

Cate Stillman: Website: https://catestillman.com/

Facebook: /cate.stillman

Instagram: /yogahealer

Yogahealer: https://yogahealer.com/

ClubThrive.Global: https://clubthrive.global/

Wellness Pro Academy: https://wellnesspro.academy/

Author of: PRIMAL HABITS: https://amzn.to/3OvfPOx 

Uninflamed: https://amzn.to/3UUBgJ2 

Body Thrive: https://amzn.to/3udNFR0 

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